Reminisce
by poppycat
Summary: A oneshot about Edward and Hohenheim. Some spoilers about the end of the anime .I’ve never been able to be a father. How pathetic.


I don't own FMA and if I pretended to I would burn under Roy's snapping fingers (muhaahahaha).

I hope I haven't done too much grammar mistakes (I definitively need a beta reader).

R&R please (chibi eyes )!

summary : a lil'oneshot about Ed and Hohenheim's relationships... no Elricest but with a really stupid title (not good at finding titles ).

* * *

Monday, February 13th, 

I had a long life, longer than any normal human could expect to live. I saw so much things, earned so much knowledge, I've even hold the great power in my hands but I've never been able to be a father. How pathetic.

I've no real clues about how was my two younger sons' childhood, I wasn't here. I deserted. I just remember their early days, the softness of their little cheeks under my lips, their little hands messing around with my beard pulling my ponytail, trying to untie the hair tie . I also remember their laughs, joyful, their mother singing lullabies and nursery rhymes little Alphonse in her arms, lithe Edward on my lap.

I've spoiled this happy time, spending hours and hours in my study, working on what really kept me in life so many years, without realizing this peaceful life would quickly take an end. Sometimes my pencils disappeared; my notes were covered by childish mysterious hieroglyphs. Then I used to hear chuckles, and a little form hidden by the giant frame of an old armour I used to keep as a souvenir from my own past. I used to leave my researches for a wile to catch the fair haired little demon who was disrupting my work. I never had the courage to tell him off, the sight of his pouting little face and his two golden orbs looking at me fiercely was enough to make me laugh and play with him.

He reproached me to work too much and to do not pay attention to his and his brother's exploits, Al's first steps, his first scratches and bruises while running after a random thing. One day my past, came back to take me away from home. I had to leave. When I passed the doorstep, I took one last look behind me, Trisha was smiling at me, worried, she knew I would be away for a while. Alphonse was shaking his little hand, smiling asking me when I'll be back. Then I saw Edward, looking sad, remaining silent , looking at me, disappointed.

_Y_ears passed and I finally decided to come back home. I had no idea how long I ran away. Everything had changed during my absence. No home anymore, my dear wife died many years ago and the children were gone. I stared at the white stone, unable to do anything, not even able to cry .People are made to die, I saw so much death that I can't barely remember how it feels to loose somebody. I know that, while standing in front of the white grave, I felt so empty and powerless. Then I saw my sons for the first time after more than ten years , Alphonse 's bare soul linked to a cold armour, Ed's half mechanical body. No innocent eyes anymore, no cheerful little voices, only regrets and reproaches. I knew I was guilty, but it was hard to face Ed's anger and even harder to put up with Alphonse's sweet temper. If the elder hated me, the eldest didn't.

Now Ed and I are living in this strange world, behind the door. Ed has lost, for the second time, his leg and arm and had to suffer a second automail operation. I was quite glad when he asked me to built new automail for him, when for the first time he acted like he trusted me. It was weird, but I had to learn how to take care of my son, to forgot my old habits .He suffered a lot, screaming while sleeping , spending weeks between two operations lying on his bed, like a rag doll, unable to speak and argue.

He had to sleep a lot, so it was easy to take a closer look to what I left behind me few years ago, his young face, his pale cheeks and livid lips, his closed shadowed eyes with long, dark eyelashes . I didn't really liked to study him like this , during his sick sleep but it was the only was to be closer to him without being rejected. I was free to stroke his golden bangs, kiss his cold cheeks, refresh his hot by fever forehead, act how a father normally acts. When he recovered health his bad temper was worse than ever, he wasn't able to move, his new but archaic mechanical limbs still to heavy and painful on his just healed up shoulder and thigh. Reproaches, again and again but I could clearly remember that special day when I heard a loud scream coming from his room. I rushed to see what happened, hoping he didn't fall from bed again. Then I saw him, sitting on his bed, beaming.

"-I works , father! It works, my fingers can move!"

I haven't been called father for a long time , I sat on the bed waiting for his reaction. No scream, no growl , he nearly jumped into my arms, laughing and hugging me. He stopped and stared at me:

-Don't get used to that.

And then he buried his face into my chest still beaming.

Re-education , I think, helped us to create new links, I enjoyed it, when I had my harm around his waist, helping him to walk , when he accepted my presence around him , when father was more used than "old man ".

Our relationships are still difficult but …"

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Hohenheim suddenly closed his diary when he heard heavy footsteps coming from the staircase .

-I'm starving to death !

Edward was standing in the door frame, upset.

-Have you laid the table?

-No.

Hohenheim sighed heavily and leaved the room.

-We'll have diner around 8 o'clock, Ok?

-It's late.

Nobody answered when he called Edward for diner, when he pushed the door of his study, Hohenheim saw his son far asleep in an armchair, then he noticed the mess on his desk.

-"Annoying brat."he whispered under his breath .tidying up his notes . Hohenheim shivered with surprise, his diary was open.

-He even dared to read my personal notes… Get ready for a loud argument…"

Ha was going to close the diary and put it away when he noticed that Edward had underlined the last paragraph, Then he read few simple word clumsily written with a lead pencil behind his own. He smiled looking at the small sleeping frame.

" Our relationships are still difficult but _…Thanks to you I can stand on my two legs and walk ._

_Thanks again…_

At the bottom of the page were inscribed 4 words which Edward had tried to erase, by shyness, maybe, but which were still slightly visible.

_I love you, dad..._

* * *

Ed: Sentimentalism… Your case is getting worse. 

Poppy: And?

Edward : It's creeeeeepyy. I think I'm out of character in this fic.

Poppy:I don't think so, I think you love your father but because you're clumsy and bad tempered you don't really know how to behave with him and this is why you're so aggressive.

It's hidden love, that's all.

Hohenheim: It's true? You love me Edward ? Sonny? (rushes to hug Ed)

Ed: get out of me Old-beeep- .

Poppy: father/son relationships are sooo beautiful (tears)

Ed: (screaming, trying to escape from Hoho's embrace) And you, shut the hell up, you Psychiatrist weirdo!


End file.
